dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
