I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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