also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
