just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
