508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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