All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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