We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
