for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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