Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
