could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
