Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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