can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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