READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
