Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
