Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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