Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm too high and old for this...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
