Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I forgot wine drunk hurts
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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