thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
