and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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