sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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