I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
