whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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