The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
