my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
