theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I love you. Go after that dick
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
