I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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