There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
