In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
