Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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