Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
