i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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