I need help removing her.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
