Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
