I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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