Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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