no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
