Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
