you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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