They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize