It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
