at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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