i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
