Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
