When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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