I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
