I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
