I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
