i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
is that a dick in a sweater?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
