So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
