Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
