Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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