I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize