her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Let's get the cat blown out
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
