i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
