yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
