He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
