woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
