I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
