that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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