But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
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