i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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