is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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