About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
